You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
