redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
