Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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