Joe is yelling at the trees again.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
