The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
