I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
