Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize