Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
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