I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize