its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
