What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
