apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
