Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
i drank out of a bidet.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Randomize
