Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
