You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
