omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
