and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
