then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
