i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
