I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
