Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Mom said you looked used
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
