I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
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