hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
