is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Randomize
