She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Btw I puked in your glovebox
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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