my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize