I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
