my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
