i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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