I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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