he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Princesses don't give blow jobs
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
