I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
