I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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