you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
