ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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