I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Randomize