i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
