He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
