Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
