I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
