And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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