all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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