i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
