I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
