Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize