i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
