Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I'm passing your future prison.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
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