Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
