So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
