May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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