gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
