No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize