If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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