New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Randomize
