Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
