So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize