We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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