I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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