i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
do nipples grow back?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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