we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
