I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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