like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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