grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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