It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
