Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
