You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
he was CRYING into my vagina
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
