I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
It's never too late to be topless.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Randomize
