things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
