bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
