I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
