Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
